There were once two brothers who grew up together. The younger loved the older one very much and really looked up to him. They both worked for their father in different fields: one was a shepherd and one was a farmer. When it was time for the harvest, both of them had to bring their produces to their father. But the father only accepted the products of the younger one because he presented the best of what he had. This caused envy and ultimately hatred in the heart of the older brother. One day he told his younger brother to go for a walk with him and catching him unaware, he killed him.  

Later on, the father asked: “Where is your younger brother?” He replied: “I don’t know! Am I my brother's keeper?” The story continues with a conversation between the father and the son in which the son gets banished from the family home. 

The names of the two brothers are Cain and Abel and the father is God Himself. This is a story of family drama where in the end justice was done: the murderer was punished. But Abel still died and his family had to mourn his loss. The father lost His 2 children that day. 

Evil has been there from the beginning of time and in 2020 we still have so many stories like this. Countless murders have been committed where after initial questioning, the final answer is not an apology or even a sign of repentance but it’s another question: “Am I his/her keeper?” It’s clearly “every man for themselves” on this side of heaven. A black person knows that full well. I am a black person. When injustices happen to me or any of my kind, we look up to our brothers and sisters of different races: “Why didn’t you do something?” “Am I his keeper? He should have been smarter!”. This is the answer we get and somehow, we become the author of our own deaths and injustices. “He shouldn’t have argued with that officer!” “Why was she walking about alone?” “It’s just unfortunate. She was at the wrong place at wrong time” “She shouldn’t have worn those clothes”. Responsibility is never taken, blame is being shifted and the hands of the people that could have done something to help are being washed at the sound of “there is nothing I can do” just like Pontius Pilate did.  

I feel so helpless. Being of African descent and living in the west is extremely exhausting. Constantly being defined as an ethnic minority is exhausting. My whole life I’ve had to constantly defend myself and prove to humanity that I was worth it. That my life was worth something. That I wasn’t just the daughter of two African immigrants but that I was intelligent, talented and can do so much more than half of the people around me. And even in that, it is still not enough. The colour of my skin is my business card and speaks for me very loudly before I can even utter a word.  

So, what do I do? The solution, for me, is in the story at the start of this post. The younger brother was a forerunner to another shepherd, the Good Shepherd, who 2000 years later was brutally crucified on the cross. He suffered the ultimate injustice cos he was with no sin, but yet he paid a very high price for us so we could be called children of God. Despite breathing his last in the midst of atrocious pain, he taught me this: to love my enemies and pray for those who persecute me. Painful yes. But it is the only way to true freedom and total healing of the heart. 

So, I pray for you white teachers that look down on your black students. I forgive you white men when you stop by the bus stop assuming I’m a prostitute even though I’m wearing a tracksuit. I forgive you supermarket, post office and shop clerk for being rude, treating me with too much familiarity and insisting to know where I’m REALLY from when I tell you “I AM ITALIAN”. I forgive you black church leader for failing to stand by your sister when I needed you. I forgive you white church leader for trying to oppress the real me with your not so subtle remarks followed by a smile. I forgive you black leader for never taking the time to deal with your issues of self-hate and projecting your issues on me. I forgive you, black or white man, for uttering that you can NEVER date a black woman because she is unattractive or difficult to handle. I forgive every single one of you I have not mentioned but I know, I need to forgive. I forgive you cos you obviously didn’t know what you were doing. I encourage you, my dear reader, to find the strength to do the same. Just like Jesus did in the face of His murderers. Yes He was God, but He was also a man. Just like us.

I wish my first blog post was on a happier topic but unfortunately this world is not always a happy place.  

A verse that gives me hope is John 16:33 “... Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” The King of the universe has spoken and one day he will come to make ALL things right. Until then, I will keep on speaking, fighting and revealing His truth here on earth. As long as I have breath, NO ONE will keep my mouth shut on what is right. George Floyd lost his breath so we could get ours back and he reminds me: “I am my brother’s keeper.”

Take heart, 

Anna Noelani