Dating is the ghetto
“Dating is the ghetto” I read someone exclaim on Twitter. It really made me burst out laughing but then I had a realization: what she said is true. The dating scene is REALLY the ghetto right now: from undercover sociopaths with controlling tendencies to extra sensitive mummy’s boys and everything in between. I mean! What is a girl supposed to do?
I am 32 years old with many friends in their thirties still waiting to meet a life partner. And honestly, things can get very discouraging. You see a guy and it seems like there is some sort of chemistry between you. You exchange numbers and the conversation is flowing. “Yes! He gets my banter” “Oh my gosh, he notices the little details about me” “He understands that words of affirmation are my love language”. You really think you’ve found your soulmate! ( I know some of you don’t believe in the concept of “the one” but I do). Everything is so great and you’re already giving thanks to God in your heart. And then, nothing. He disappears and ghosts you. He starts talking about being busy and the responses become rarer and rarer. Until he completely stops talking to you. And this can happen so many times with different people till it becomes a pattern. And year after year you become more and more alarmed: you are getting older and you really start to believe there is no hope for you. And then the worse happens: he comes along. He is so nice and lovely. But that’s it. You don’t feel anything for him, no attraction of any sort. But he’s great and he’ll make a great husband and father one day. You settle. Or maybe you’ve been with this guy for 2,3,4,5 years. He doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Maybe he used to but now he doesn’t and you know you can do better. But do you? Either way, you are with him because as one auntie would say a bird in hand is better than two in the bush. Because what if I let go and no one comes along? And so, you settle. It is very sad but somehow you believe that your sorrow will turn into joy. Somehow. But is it going to?
It’s not easy. It’s so hard. You pray you believe and you know that it’s going to happen but when? Someone said I wish I had a tracking number from God so I can figure out when my partner is coming. It made me smile. Would faith be necessary for that scenario though? You wouldn’t need to trust God. But trusting God makes all the difference. It gives you the strength to move forward knowing that the future is bright and gives you the strength to navigate the present knowing that He will fulfill all His promises. I believe in my God, and I completely trust in Him. I will not settle. I don’t need to. Because He will take care of me. “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19). Keep trusting. Good things happen when you least expect them. He’s faithful.
Love,
Anna